Mommie Dearest?
I have a confession to make: Today I feel a little like Joan Crawford, a.k.a. “Mommie Dearest.”
No, I didn’t beat any of my kids with wire hangars and I didn’t even scream at them (today, LOL!). But I did make my girls stay in their room this morning until it was cleaned up. No breakfast, no juice, nothing. The only thing they could do was use the bathroom.
It sounds harsh to my own ears, but this is a LONG brewing battle between the girls and me. We have run the gamut of disciplinary actions and methods. They have lost toys, lost privileges, had their room stripped to beds & dressers only, been spanked, been separated while cleaning, and the list will go on and on and on.
On Monday, I was hosting book club and the girls had managed to clean their room up pretty early in the day. They also kept it pretty clean on Tuesday. Last night I went in to say goodnight to them and found a nightmare – they had trashed it in a matter of hours. I was furious, and completely battle-weary. I am tired of yelling, scolding, begging, & pleading with them to keep it cleaned up. I threw down the ultimatum before bed: either clean the room up, or don’t bother coming down stairs in the morning.
I should also add that they have bins, buckets, drawers, & shelves for everything in their possession. And, after the last time I took all their stuff away temporarily, I only gave back 1/2 of it and donated the rest. There really is no excuse.
They woke up this morning around 9:00 and crept downstairs. I think they must have thought I was kidding; surely mommy wouldn’t be so cruel as to deny food? Wrong!
I sent them back upstairs. I heard a lot of noise that sounded like cleaning, but I had my doubts, and I was right. They were playing. This was at 10:34. I made it very clear that they would not get anything beyond a cup of tap water from the bathroom sink until they got serious. I think I finally managed to get the message into their hard little heads. By 11:00, the room was clean enough to warrant breakfast.
When they are sufficiently motivated, they can (and do) clean up the worst messes in 15-30 minutes. They’ve done it before. So I ask you, am I just dealing with two of the most stubborn little girls on the planet, or am I a candidate for the lead role in a remake of “Mommie Dearest”?
November 5th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
You are not being to harsh whatsoever. I would do the same. I do have probs sometimes with Ruby cleaning her room. She always has trash everywhere and she is a packrat. I have been very stern and she is finally getting into the habit of getting her room straightened every morning.
btw- “Mommie Dearest” is a special memory to me in a weird way. My mom and I watched it together when I was a kid (weird, I know). And I remember I would sometimes call her “Mommie Dearest” and we would laugh together.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I am NOT calling CPS on you. Sounds warrented to me! Don’t call CPS on me, either. This morning I LOCKED Alexander in his room for 5 minutes so that I could take a shower, because the past two times I’ve tried to take a shower, he has gotten ahold of first the scissors, and cut his hair and some of my papers, and then a knife, and poked holes in a playmat and then cut his finger! So although it sounds downright abusive to me when I say I locked him in his room, it was for his own SAFETY. And seriously, I hadn’t showered in two days becuase I was afraid of what he would do while I was in there. I think I deserve a 5 minute shower. Sometimes these kids make such ridiculously bad choices that I don’t think they’ll ever turn out to be functioning adults, but they WILL. And I bet Sydni and Zoey will even keep their houses kinda neat!!!
November 5th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Oh my I would have done the same thing! I don’t get how a room can be so completely trashed in almost no time. My youngest is the worst. We call her Hurricane Grace! Everywhere she goes she seems to leave a little trail or piece of herself.
November 5th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Um, no. You’re not Mommie Dearest. Not even close. You are making difficult decisions regarding boundaries and discipline for your kids that will help them to be better adults.
You know we don’t have kids yet, but I would appreciate you reminding me of this when I’m about to go batsh*t crazy on our kids for doing the same thing, because I know they will. And I think your response is perfectly reasonable.
Hang in there!
November 5th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
“If any man will not work; neither should he eat”- The Bible
November 5th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
I have the same problem with mine. I can’t tell you how many times over the summer we didn’t get to the wave pool that opens in 1PM because they were stretching out a 20 minute job into six hours.