Golden Acorn Homeschool

Today was not my favorite day, let’s just leave it at that.

1. I am glad that today is nearly over.

2. I am glad I did not murder my children today (I was tempted).

3. I am very grateful for good friends who are opening their homes and closets to give me stuff.  I feel very loved.

4. I am grateful for the idea of the Advent Conspiracy and focusing on something besides consumerism.

5. Today is the first day of Advent.  I am grateful that Jesus came, in the humblest of circumstances,  for me.  Nothing else matters!

Whew!  I feel SO much better now.  I would love to see more gratitude posts from readers.  What are you grateful for?

I am going to copy David Letterman this week and count down the top 10 reasons for enjoying time away from my husband.  I miss him already, so I thought maybe this list would help me focus on the “positives.”  :-P

10.  Lots of space in the bed.  I don’t have to worry about sticking my knee in his back, or getting an elbow in the face.

9.  Cleaner air.  I am sure I don’t really need to explain this one, do I?

8.  Having the car 24/7.  Some of you know this, but I used to wake up every day of the week and drop him off at the Metro, or go without the car.  I am looking forward to the break!

7.  Less cooking.  The kids are happy to eat cereal and ramen.  This means I get more nights off.

6.  Early homework submission.  I will be bored, so my assignments will be finished extra early.

5.  Binging on sappy, romantic chic flicks.

4.  Reading in peace.  There will no one trying to get my attention because he is being ignored while my nose is in a book.

3.  Less laundry!

2.  No Car Talk.  He drives me nuts by constantly asking me what I think about this car, or to make a list of dream cars, or driving by car dealerships.

1.  Full ownership of the “Scepter of Power,” otherwise known as the remote control.  I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want.  This means a LOT less “Stargate.”  ;-)

Wow, I really haven’t blogged all week.  The days have slipped by in a haze of painting, cleaning, a little packing, and getting ready to say goodbye.

Lonnie left this afternoon for Vegas and I don’t anticipate seeing him again until late January, at the earliest.  I didn’t realize until I was driving away from the airport how much I depend on him, for SO many things.  I mean I know that I do depend on him, but my heart finally caught up with my brain as we drove up 495.

But I’m ok.

I’m ok because there is someone else who I depend on, and He can see me through anything.  He has been there with me for every faltering step of the mess that is my life.  He was there when I was angry, and when I was headed in the opposite direction, running as fast as I could.  He was patiently waiting.  He always has been.  He always will be.

Lord, You are good and Your mercy endureth forever.  I worship You for who You are!

This week I have many things to feel grateful for, how about you?

1. Another week with my husband.  He leaves for Las Vegas next week and I won’t see him again for 70-90 days.  I am going to cherish every day of this week!

2. Good friends.  We had a really amazing going away party for Lonnie on Friday.  The people who came and spent time with us are so dear to my heart.  What an outpouring of love!

3. Paint!  I just put some paint samples on the wall and they look amazing.  I love the fresh, clean feeling a coat of paint can give a room.

4. Good books – enough said!

5. Diversity.  Where we live in the DC metro area is very diverse.  I have enjoyed living here so much for that reason and many more. I will miss it!

I know that technically I missed the deadline for this today, but I was absolutely buried with obligations and homework this weekend.  This was literally my first chance to write anything for my poor, neglected blog.  But since it is still November 8th in the Mountain and Pacific time zones, I say it counts!

This week I am thankful for the following:

1. My church.  Journey’s Crossing has been the greatest source of fellowship, growth, and blessing to me as a Christian.  Words cannot even convey how much I will miss the weekly services, but more importantly, the amazing friendships I have made!

2. My newest small group.  This ties in with #1, but Daniel & Vicki, thank you!  Your group is making me get back in the WORD and really study, study, study.  It goes beyond just daily reading time with God, which I cherish, but this group is really getting down and dirty with what the Bible really says.  :-)

3. New math curriculum.  The new math textbooks arrived on Saturday and I was so deliriously happy to poor over them and sniff the new paper smell.  (I never said I wasn’t weird, ok?)

4. My mother-in-law.  Saturday was her birthday and I am so glad that she is in my life and that I have been able to get to know her better than I thought possible over the last seven years.

5. My health.  I have a few odd things to get checked out in the coming weeks, but overall I am very healthy and strong.  I need to remember not to take that for granted.

So, readers, what are you thankful for this week?

My church has just wrapped up a four week sermon series called “Tattoo” which explores the marks we bear in life.  I’ve loved this series and I have taken so much away from it.  I have definitely been marked by my life, people in it, and by God.

For years, I let the marks others put on me define who I was.  Whether good or bad, I chose to acknowledge what they had to say about me (or treat me) as “truth” about my very nature.  Finally, there came a point in my desperation for God, and my searching for Him, that I realized the only thing that matters is what He thinks of me.  And as Pastor Mark told us in the sermon, what God thinks of me is amazing!  That doesn’t mean I am perfect, or that I can’t be a huge disappointment to myself at times, but God….He always loves me and is waiting for me to do the right thing.

Scott preached this Sunday about how the cross marks those of us who follow Christ.  It was a powerful message and I realized that I want the cross to mark me more deeply and more meaningfully.

I am not the same woman I was five years ago when I gave my life back to Christ.  It has been a lot of years of letting go of things I was involved in and realigning my values, thoughts and beliefs.  I have struggled, no,  absolutely wrestled with my Bible on certain issues.  Some I have made peace with through much reading and understanding, some I had to let go of and simply trust God.  I sometimes disagree theologically with some of my fellow believers, but I am in a church where loving and serving others comes first.  This group of believers truly meet people where they are and help them become more like Jesus.  It’s beautiful, and it has changed my life and my walk.

I still have so far to go.  I feel like a baby on the journey, but every step I take changes me a little more.  I want to be marked deeply by the cross.  I don’t ever want to forget what I laid down there, how it changed me, and the freedom it gave me.  I have joy, even on my worst days.  I don’t mean I am out there walking around with cheerleader enthusiasm, but I have peace, I have calm, and I have joy in my walk with God.  I want the change in me to truly be a light.  I hope when people meet me, they see Christ and not one more Bible thumping Christian.  I hope that the love, grace, and help that Christ offered to others, is what I am offering to others.

Yet, I am often irritated when I should be kind, especially to my family.  I am often selfish when I should be generous.  I am often angry when I should be gentle.  I am hopelessly flawed, but I have hope anyway.  I pray that each day Jesus would reign in my heart a bit more, and keep me on HIS path as a faithful little pilgrim.

We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:20-22

Today, I am grateful for my family – all of my family.  However, I am especially thankful for my husband who works hard to provide for us, and for my MIL who shares her home with us.  I am very grateful for my children who are a source of constant amusement, love, and challenges.  They make me grow and stretch and be a better person.

I am grateful for my good health, and that it allows me to do all I need to do.

I am grateful for my garden “project” this year.  It is hard work, but I am enjoying it very much.  I feel like a good steward of the Earth.

I am always grateful for my relationship with the Lord.  Walking with Him has been the greatest blessing to my days!

What are you grateful for?  Take some time today and ponder the ways your life is blessed, even in adversity.

Feel free to join me as I strive to make each Sunday a “Day of Rest, Day of Gratitude.”

I had never heard this before, but it was on the kids’ VBS music CD. I just love it, and I can’t keep from crying when I hear it. Maybe it will bless you too.

First, I want to thank Christine over at Welcome to My Brain for always giving me something to think about. I don’t always comment on her blogs, but I always read them. I don’t always agree with her, but I always think hard about her postings. Kudos!

Her posting today, Ben Stein and Oprah, sitting in a tree, gave me something new to blog about: Evolution, Intelligent Design, and Creation. This has actually been on my mind for weeks, and weeks, and weeks now – but I have mostly been reflecting on it in a personal sense. I just cannot understand why this is such a point of contention for people. *sigh* Well, that’s not true. I do understand why people are fighting about it, but even though I understand why, I find it absurd.

I am a Christian, but I don’t expect to be able to prove with scientific evidence that God exists. I don’t think I can write a hypothesis and expect to uncover through the scientific process that God is located _________ and here is my proof. I find the idea of locating, or proving, God’s existence through some kind of scientific process utterly ludicrous, and frankly, unnecessary. God is a matter of faith, and always has been.

That’s not to say that *I* don’t find the evidence for God’s design in the natural world. I do. But that is also a matter of faith. I find it so, because I believe it to be so. It is unimaginable to me that the entire universe came into being entirely on it’s own and every delicate balance and ratio was perfectly aligned. Science says random, I say God. Can science say God does not exist simply because God cannot be proven or located? My answer is no. There is so much we have not uncovered, but that does not mean it doesn’t exist.

At the same time, I refuse the make the scriptures irrelevant by demanding an actual 6 days (as in 24 hours) for creating the universe either. In fact, I would suggest that the scriptures are pretty clear that it was not a literal day in the sense that our human minds can conceive. Try reading Hebrews 4. It’s pretty clear to me that the 7th day of God’s rest is still continuing in our present time. That is one LONG day, no? Feel free to disagree with me, but in my opinion, science and the Bible have never at any point disproved each other. I personally feel that science is merely accounting for the way God created in intricate detail. Detail that is purposely not explained in the Bible.

However, I said all of that to say this: What really, really matters to me is a man named Jesus. I decided to meet him, accept him as my savior, and follow his example for my life. And you know what? He changed my life! I am no longer the person I was; I am better and continuing to become better than I was every day. That is what we should be talking about, not fighting the secular and scientific community over how the earth was created. What is truly amazing is the transformation that is taking place in me. It’s a miracle, and it’s what really matters in the grand scheme of things; at least in my little corner of the world. So why are we not talking about how great He is more often?

That’s my humble opinion, anyway.

I am an internet junkie.

I am just letting that sink in for a moment, because I have come to realize that it’s true. It sounds silly, but when I spent my time off-line last week, I could clearly see the affect it was having on my life. I use the internet as a form of escape, much in the same way an alcoholic uses booze, and a drug addict shoots up heroin. I realize that my addiction positively pales in comparison, and it’s not devastating my life and those I love, but it is deeply affecting both. This is one of the hardest blogs I have ever written about myself, and for the simple fact that is does not paint me in a positive light in any way. My ego is what I constantly seem to be tripping over. “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” -Proverbs 16:18

Being online is not just about amusement for me, although, that is a big part of it. It has become a form of distraction from things I don’t want to deal with. Whether that comes down to something mundane like the laundry basket that has been camped on the sofa for five days with clean and folded clothes waiting to be put away, or something larger – like me not wanting to deal (for the moment) with my parenting responsibilities, or talking through heavy issues with my husband. It’s much easier to be “busy” and unavailable while online, than to be fully engaged and constantly giving of myself and my time.

As much as it pains me to type this, I realized I was definitely using it to put some distance between myself and my husband. Rather than sit with him on the couch – talking and cuddling, and giving him the gift of my full attention – I would rather be online so I could avoid giving him the affection and intimate time he craves with me. As smug as I have always been about not withholding sex from him as a punishment (oh how pride is my downfall!), I did withhold my love and affection when angry and irritated about something.

Escaping from my mothering responsibility is another huge area. I was definitely letting the kids have too much time to themselves to get into whatever…and getting irritated when they would interrupt my computer time! I am not saying they were neglected, or that I was spending my whole day online, but I have not been pouring myself into them in the way I should be. If I want them to be upstanding, moral and productive human beings, who love and honor the Lord, that is not going to happen while mommy is busy online!

I won’t even touch on my neglect of my homemaking. Let’s just say that while my house is always basically tidy and relatively clean, I certainly could be doing more on the home front. I am not living up to my Proverbs 31 ideal. Ahem.

Many people say that time appears to be slipping through our fingers faster and faster every year. I don’t know if this is because time really is moving faster, or something about getting older that just makes it feel that way. Maybe it’s a gift. Maybe God is trying to really reach out to us and shake us up. Maybe He’s subtly (or not so subtly) trying to say to us, “Do you feel that? Time is marching on quickly. Have you made the most of the time you have? Life is short, and it’s over before you can blink your eyes.”

The best thing about this experience is the humbling of my spirit. I have spent a good deal of face time with the Lord, and that is always excellent for taking me down a notch…or twenty. I bought a new Bible, and I have spent a lot of time in prayer, reading and worship. I have asked for forgiveness…lots and lots of forgiveness. And guidance. With all my heart I want to make the most of my life, and leave a legacy that gives glory to God. I want to live passionately, love completely, learn humbly and leave boldly.

While there is nothing wrong with the internet and being online, taking a break, or enjoying amusement – I think when one is using it to avoid life, there is a real problem going on. I am grateful for the eye-opening experience this series has given me. If I only had one month to live (and I might have less, who knows!) I realized I was not living the way I would want to. I was not living like I am terminal. There is more than the internet holding me back, of course, but I have eliminated one time waster and road block. One down, many more to go.